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por Iván Segura.

Sad, Sad Cupcake de Dan Haskell.

Sad, Sad Cupcake de Dan Haskell.

Durante años he deseado el mal en su forma más precaria: insultos pequeño burgueses fundamentados en una frustración ajena a un sufrimiento que disloque mi existencia; lo mío es un coctel de neurosis y adolescencia perpetua, ¡Salud!

Lo dicho, he arremetido con escasa creatividad contra ex amantes, ex maestros, peatones, gobernantes, meseros, gerentes de tiendas, estilistas, taxistas, una vez un mariachi, futbolistas, amigos, familia; le he deseado el mal a casi toda persona que he conocido, y a las que no conozco también.

Pero no a mí, no he sido capaz de proferir maldiciones contra mí. Un ego enorme y una tendencia a la autocomplacencia me han impedido desearme el mal. Hasta hoy.

Necesito escribir y no puedo. No es una cuestión fisiológica, tampoco psíquica, se trata más bien de mantener el personaje, de rectificar mi existencia. Una minuciosa lectura de un par de biografías me ha llevado a concluir que para escribir no basta con vivir, es imperante vivir mal. Por medio de la presente solicito una tragedia, una desgracia, una tristeza asfixiante; ya no puedo escribir más sobre fracasos amorosos, estoy cansado de exagerar mi vida, de salir adelante, ¿no puedo pisar mierda en la banqueta por una maldita vez?

Venga, vamos, ¿alguien que pueda diagnosticarme un síndrome incurable? Quiero tres. Quizá una fractura, una dolencia, sólo un poquito de malestar, una tristeza chiquita por caridad. Hace años que nadie me asalta.

No soy ambicioso, lo juro, sólo imploro se me suministre una maldición. Yo no quiero que me salven de nada, sólo quiero, como decía Bernardo Soares, estar triste debajo de mi conciencia, fracasar un poco, dejar de fingir misantropía, tener motivos para hacer del mundo un lugar inhabitable, convertirme en uno de esos seres ermitaños que arremeten contra toda forma de belleza. Sólo añoro una mala experiencia para vivir de ella ¿es mucho pedir?

Quiero ser aquel que escribía en su diario:

Por ejemplo, hoy: estuve cuarenta minutos con un nudo en la garganta en una librería sin decir nada, temiendo que cualquier gesto hiciera que esa granada de llanto estallara. — ¿Buscas algo en especial?— negaba con la cabeza — ¿Te puedo ayudar en algo?— doble negación. Me senté, hojeé, miré para un lado, para otro, y me sentí la persona más sola del mundo. Esto debe ser patológico, ¿necesito una tomografía? Ahora con mayor frecuencia tengo la necesidad de sentirme profundamente triste.

Sino soy triste no soy, es en la herida donde en verdad me siento cómodo, donde me refugio de lo que realmente duele. Me he convertido en un arqueólogo de mis cicatrices. Creo que debo ser detestable, ¿es la lluvia lo que me pone así? Lo que quiero decir es simple: la tristeza es una utopía.

Cada vez es más difícil alcanzarla, ser triste implica no ser otra cosa. La tristeza no convive, es egoísta; el ser triste no puede dedicarse a otra cosa que no sea rendirle culto a la pariente guapa de la saudade. Soy un triste incompleto, un farsante, jamás la conquisto del todo.

Pero ahora todo está de maravilla, mi vida es perfecta (Gracias P, te quiero) y yo no puedo escribir.

Intenté todo, como adolescente tardío me aficioné a los libritos de antisuperación de Cioran, me receté a Pessoa y a Céline con la esperanza de hacerme adicto a la desgracia y fracasé; quise compartir la cama con alguien como Plath, un pedacito de Pizarnik en la siguiente almohada, pero no, la depresión ha salido de vacaciones, respirar ya no es cosa seria. No con ello quiere decir que comulgue con mantras del tipo “disfruta al máximo, haz lo que te haga feliz” no, por el contrario, la desgracia me ha abandonado incluso cuando lo que busco es precisamente el abandono. Al carajo todo.

Al carajo esa forma de vida tan de Brice, tan de Rimbaud, a la mierda una desaparición bélica; no pido monumentos a mi desgracia, sólo quiero caerme por las escaleras. No aspiro a la belleza suicida de Debord o de Luis Helguera, ese hombre de la década que murió posiblemente un domingo en su azotea, poesía pura, no, sólo quiero que mi deporte favorito sea reclinarme en el diván.

Los desesperados besan mejor y yo estoy en las antípodas de la desesperanza, y eso querida, no puede ser literatura, eso es otra cosa, pero no literatura. Necesito escribir, quiero que mi vida sea una mala idea, anhelo sentarme a cenar una vez más con la idea del suicido, quiero coquetearle de tanto en tanto, a veces sólo quiero ser miserable, sentirme sucio, caminar al borde de un acantilado y si es posible, resbalar.

 

Sobre nosotros Iván Segura

Estudió –accidentalmente- la licenciatura de psicología.

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