2. Diario de Roberto.

por Henoc Malvaroso.

Para vivir existen tres métodos: mendigar, robar o realizar algo.
Conde de Mirabeau.

Imagen de Nhaingen.

Imagen de Nhaingen.

Comienzo a escribir este diario, espero que lo que diga no esté lleno de palabrerías o esas cosas. Decidí hacerlo porque hace poco leí el libro “Diario de un libertino”, escrito por un brasileño llamado Rubem Fonseca. Creo que tengo una vida parecida al personaje, Rufus, que aparece en el diario. Voy a comenzar a  escribir con las tripas, tal cual me lleguen las cosas, aunque mis textos no tendrán locuciones latinas como las que pone el cabrón de Fonseca.

Puedo empezar diciendo que hace no mucho tiempo me tatué. Me pinté una calavera, en su ojo derecho sale una rosa y en el izquierdo una víbora. Así es como va la vida: por un ojo vemos rosas y por otro víboras, al unir los dos entendemos lo difícil que es levantarse cada mañana, el sol o el olor de las flores no perfuma para todos. Cuando me estaba tatuando el Mairo me preguntó qué entendía yo por víbora, le expliqué que tenía que ver con las cosas crueles y duras de la vida. Pero el vato me corrigió y dijo que el pedo no estaba ahí. Las víboras (no recuerdo en qué lugar del mundo) significan astucia, sabiduría. Entonces me quedé confundido, y me pregunté a mí mismo si aún quería hacerme la pinta. Tiene razón el Mairo, porque se la pasa leyendo muchas cosas de esas siempre, pero yo tengo mis propias creencias y para mí la cosa va así en esta tierra de mortales. Nadie da perfume sin inyectar un poco de veneno.

Todos los días me levanto y veo en el espejo mi tatuaje, me pongo crema y trato de no tocarlo para no causarme alguna infección, porque desde niño he tenido problemas en la piel. Me miro en el espejo durante minutos, sin embargo, soy cabrón porque puedo mirarme en el espejo y, al mismo tiempo, ver desde mi ventana lo que pasa abajo en la calle. A veces me levanto y tomo un vaso con agua para calmarme la gastritis, pero el agua no sabe tan bien por la mañana, sabe a sarro, a agua de grifo. Sólo así se me calma el perro vacío del estómago. Si estoy de humor, tiendo la cama, si no, la dejo hecha un tilichero, total en la noche la voy a volver a destender y no quiero llevarme toda la vida tendiendo y destendiendo la cama. Aunque si viene alguna mujer a mi casa la tiendo y entonces sí me da harto gusto destenderla. Algunas veces fumo con la pansa vacía. Sí marea fumar en ese estado, pero lo hago cuando despierto de alguna pesadilla donde sueño que me secuestran, o que esos cabrones vienen a quebrarme. Entonces, me levanto, abro la ventana y lo primero que hago es tocarme las coyunturas de las manos y después la verga, de ese modo siento que estoy vivo, que todo fue un sueño, incluso me huelo las axilas. Mi olor es de vivo.

Últimamente no me ha ido bien, siento que las cosas pueden ir empeorando a tal grado que me pierda, que la olla truene. Pero sé que nadie sabrá porqué y cómo llegué a tal punto, quizás sea por eso que comencé a escribir. Me gustaría pensar que para cuando enloquezca y me visiten algunos de mis amores, mientras brinco y me paro de cabeza o les tiro besos en los ojos, me lean lo que escribí con cordura. Creo que esto podrá dibujarme una sonrisa. Me recordaré con melancolía. No tengo ningún fundamento claro del porqué voy a enloquecer, pero algo me dice que lo haré. A mi abuelo le dio demencia senil pero no creo que me pase lo mismo; pero sé que algo pasará, muy cabrón, y si no pasa sé que yo buscaré que pase.

La cosa es que no me va bien, perdí la chamba hace no mucho y como debo pagar la renta de este cuartucho tuve que buscar un jale temporal. Un compa me dijo que el negocio de la compra-venta de bicicletas de Roberto (robadas pues) es un boom en la ciudad. El business es sencillo, todo lo que hay que hacer es ir a buscar una buena rila, llegar, tumbarla y pedalear como loco. Se necesita escoger una buena zona.

diarioderoberto1

Fhhhhhhhhhhhhhh de Nhaingen.

El camarón y yo escogimos Chapultepec, ya que últimamente se ha llenado de morros y morritas hipsters que van al Starbucks, o a cualquier pinche café de esos, para hablar de literatura, música o, simplemente, a creerse cabrones neoyorkinos en pleno Guanatos. Nuestro operativo comienza a eso de las siete de la noche, que es cuando llegan los hipsters. La onda es ponerse trucha, actuar lo más rápido posible y ya está hecho el jale. A unas cuadras de Chapultepec, casi a la altura de la Minerva, el Camarón tiene una combi, ahí uno llega con la bici y ¡zas va pa’ dentro, de regreso a Chapu a buscar otra! Al finalizar el operativo, ya en su casa, rayamos los cuadros o cambiamos piezas de una bici a otra.

El segundo paso del business es que los domingos tenemos que levantarnos temprano e ir con el Lalo, un compa del Camarón que trabaja en el baratillo. Lalo compra por parejo las bicis: de quinientos a setecientos pesos por rila. A todos nos va bien con él. Nosotros casi siempre regresamos con las bolsas bien cuajadas: ¡hasta para el tatú salió! Aquí lo gracioso es que muchos de los intelectualoides, que vemos en Chapultepec, le caen con el Lalo o con el Primo a ver las rilas, claro, esos vatos modifican algunas cosas para que no se vean tal cual llegaron. Algunos las compran completas y otros solo compran piezas. El Lalo y Primo sí que están haciendo el varo del mundo. Las que no van al puesto son las morritas de pelos color canela; esas güeritas que huelen bonito, que les huele la conchita al pasar, no se ven allá. Seguro ellas cuando pierden la bici van y compran una nueva, o la mandan pedir por internet hasta el culo del mundo.

Recuerdo la vez que estaba parado sobre avenida López Cotilla y vi que venía una linda y hipster pollita sonriente y de lentes oscuros, bien agarrada de los manubrios. ¡Que hermosa, Jesús mío! Ni cómo acercarme, me cae que le perdono la robada, dejo de robar si deja que mis dedos recorran la rayita que se le marca en las piernas. Dejo de robar. Mi boca en su boca, su boca en la mía. Mi robo en su robo, su robo en el mío. Así por ratos robándonos, desde los dedos, hasta los gemidos. Involuntariamente comencé a excitarme, pero era un ladrón no un pervertido. El demonio es cabrón, hace que robe pero también hace que me enamore. Pensé todo eso hasta que miré que la morrita se estacionó en el café, volteó llantas pa’ arriba la bicicleta y la sujetó a un árbol, y cuando se inclinó creí sentir sus nalgas calientes. Cerró el candado y metió la llave en su short ajuntado. ¡Quién fuera llave!

Adentro la esperaba otra chava, pero de esa no me enamoré. Las estuve observando desde afuera del café; se oían sus risas y alcancé a escuchar que se llamaba Perla. Ni modo Perla, hoy no fue tu día, ni el mío, por lo que cada quien tendrá que hacer lo suyo, yo asalto y tú sigues poniéndote guapa. Me tendí a hacer mi jale, saqué las pinzas y corté la cadena, cuando estaba volteando la bici bajó Perla y comenzó a golpearme con su mochila, gritaba no sé qué desmadres, pero gemidos de placer no eran. Casi me tumba, y con la mano derecha sujeté su bolsa y la jalé. Me subí a la bici y pedaleé lo más que pude, a tras de mí corría un cabrón acomedido y otro quiso perseguirme en una bici, pero me la pelaron. Llegué a la combi del Camarón y le dije que por hoy estaba bueno, que no me sentía bien, que estaba muy agitado. Me dijo “¡No mames, cabrón! Pinche Mango… pero ni modo, si dices que ya, pos ya, a ver cómo nos va con esta merca allá con el Lalo”.

diarioderoberto2

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS de Nhaingen.

Llegué al pinche cuarto de mi casa y abrí la mochila, adentro olía como a flores con peras y melón. ¡Demonios! ¿Es así como huele la vida? Me pregunté y comencé a imaginar a Perla. Me tumbé en la cama y abracé la mochila. Ya en la madrugada, mientras fumaba porque me llegó otra pesadilla, miré la mochila y comencé a sacar lo que había adentro. Unos Marlboro, una toalla femenina, unos clínex, un anillo de fantasía en forma de búho y el libro de Fonseca, que tenía escrito “Perla Cárdenas Mirón”, además olía a Perla. Creo que por eso comencé a leerlo. Había notas escritas por ella en el libro, cosas que parecían pequeños versos de poemas. Quizás algún día vaya a buscarla y le diga  “yo soy el mamón que te robó tu bici, pero ahora estoy agradecido por tu libro”. Ella, con su libro, me salvó del treinta por ciento de mis locuras. Pero no sé, está cabrón, todo está cabrón ahora. Incluso escribir o terminar esto. A ver qué pasa mañana o pasado, o en un rato. O a ver si sigo escribiendo.

Sobre nosotros Revista Miseria

Espacio de desahogo reflexivo para aquéllos que se sienten desgraciados.

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    Having a Las Vegas Marijuana Doctor recommend medical marijuana for you doesn’t make you exempt from the regulation.

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    Chances are you’ll face criminal and civil penalties in addition to danger being disqualified from the Nevada Medical Marijuana Program for those who fail to tell the state
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    7 days of affirmation. Don’t be concerned, simply call the Nevada State Health Division at (775) 687-7594 as quickly as
    potential and inform them. Remember that each of our Las Vegas Marijuana Docs provide every qualifying affected person with a 24/7 affected person verification number.
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    Certainly one of our Las Vegas Medical Marijuana Medical doctors may also help you grow to be authorized immediately!

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    Patients who’ve additional medicine (medical marijuana)
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    We’ll begin by masking the fundamentals of California marijuana legislation,
    then dive into the process and necessities for getting a recommendation, and finally, we’ll suggest the simplest and least expensive option to complete your
    420 evaluation. In California, things aren’t difficult,
    all you want is a advice from a health care provider to have the ability
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    You don’t have to go to any particular 420 doctor” both, like all physicians, surgeons, and osteopaths with a license from
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    On November 9, 2016, California voters authorised Proposition 64 , the California Marijuana Legalization Initiative
    (also called the Adult Use of Marijuana Act), which aims to regulate and
    tax the expansion, transportation, and sale of marijuana for recreational use.
    When you do have the choice to consult with your main care physician or discover a medical marijuana physician close by who focuses on serving to sufferers get their suggestion, each options
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  233. How one can authorize using marijuana to your patients.

    Doctor’s Recommendations for Medical Marijuana = 43,000. A doctor or
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    Physicians qualified to prescribe cannabis will be found
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    NuggMD is revolutionizing the medical marijuana analysis in California.

    Due to marijuana’s unlawful status with the federal authorities, doctors are
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    For a complete record of qualifying conditions
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    Many physicians believe these sorts of reversals show that
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    Sufferers under the age of 18 that suffer from an accredited debilitating medical condition are considered minor patients and will register with the New Jersey Medicinal Marijuana Program (MMP).

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    recommending doctor in the close to future. Arkansas – A medical marijuana card, or MMJ card is a state
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  260. The Supreme Court docket on Thursday declared taking
    part in rummy and different card games online to be
    legal and past the ambit of playing which is illegal. Money
    amount jeetan ke baa aapko paise withdraw karane ke liye apna PAN
    card or checking account verify karna padega.
    Jyada se jyada jeetne ke liye aap play store se koi rummy ka recreation download
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    to ye submit padhe. Agar aapko or money quantity jeetna hai to is website me
    aapko aise bahut se helpful submit mil jayenge. Unhe bhi jarur padhe kisi bhi post se related kuch puchhna hai to comment
    kare. Apparently, video games of dice and playing cards had been very prevalent means
    back in 430 B.C. It is a globally identified incontrovertible fact that Yudhishtira
    was cheated by Shakuni in a dice sport for his kingdom and
    wealth.

    The game is often known as Paplu and played with 9 or thirteen cards.
    The profitable combination may be obtained by forming a sequential number of the same
    suit and four of a kind. Taking part in the video games requires mathematical expertise and simply luck alone doesn’t
    decide the winner. This was the reasoning that Indian regulation makers
    took into consideration earlier than they
    declared the sport authorized. The Indian courts have pronounced
    Rummy as a skill based mostly sport which is why it cannot be thought-about an criminality.

    Solely the state of Assam and Odisha are still not very clear about their respective
    positions.

    The methodology used once more was to run thorough checks and discover out whats working.
    Engineering so the remainder of his college life mostly focused on taking part in college fests.

    Nonetheless, Sachin’s golden alternative got here when he joined National Instruments in 2005 which was
    a technology firm the place he joined as a marketing brisker.

    In 2007 Sachin acquired the primary taste of digital marketing
    whereas working in Naseba – a Monaco based mostly company with an office in Dubai.
    With cash being a priority, the initial advertising
    efforts focused on WEB OPTIMIZATION and e mail marketing.
    The preliminary idea was to focus on individuals who at some point might
    have performed Rummy for real money.

    Play Rummy for money was our initial communication to
    get such customers on board and it labored rather
    well. From 2008-2009, the promoting campaigns targeted on WEB
    OPTIMIZATION and electronic mail advertising. Giving a
    background of those campaigns Sachin shared how they decided on what channels are working for them and the way a
    lot money they should pump in these campaigns.”We checked out the price of buying a
    consumer, retention fee of a person on a month on month basis and common income per
    user to foretell the lifetime of a buyer and his value.
    This was also the time when Sachin had to face challenges in convincing
    Google and Fb that RummyCircle is a talent primarily based
    sport and would not endorse gambling strategies.

    Like most firms the longer term is in cellular but for
    RummyCircle lots depends on the continued Supreme court judgement that may
    decide whether Rummy is a game of ability or a felony offense.
    Surveys showed that a powerful portion of users learnt to play rummy on-line and are experts now.
    Clearly as an organization the perfect of RummyCircle is but to return and with a
    data-driven marketer like Sachin, that won’t be too lengthy.
    As the controversy for sports activities betting heats up throughout the globe, several main sports/entertainment companies in India prepare to
    appeal their audience by introducing fantasy sports activities platforms
    in 2017.

    The Supreme Courtroom of India (SC”) has interpreted the words mere ability” to
    incorporate games which are preponderantly of ability and have laid down that
    (i) the competitions where success relies on substantial degree of skill won’t
    fall into class of ‘gambling’; and (ii) despite there being
    an element of likelihood, if a recreation is preponderantly a sport of
    talent, it would nevertheless be a sport of mere skill”.

    Whether a sport is of chance or talent is a question of truth to be decided on the information and circumstances of each case.
    Instance: The case of State of Andhra Pradesh v. Okay.
    Satyanarayana & Ors.

    Luckily rummy gamers acquired the most secure and successful rummy portal with SpadeRummy and experiencing a by no means before gaming pleasure with the portal for its
    unique options. Immediately, the internet is playing a crucial function in altering lifestyles of the individuals.
    Along with SpadeRummy, there are few legal rummy sites in the
    online world, offering the perfect safety requirements by offering the security to the player while making online transactions.
    SpadeRummy presents round the clock gaming to its players to play with 1000’s of gamers together with whopping bonuses and
    money prizes daily.

    That is exactly how poker works in addition to though.
    Within the above mentioned case 1 the matter got here earlier than the Madras High Court in India who
    ruled that the affect of talent factor of poker indeed didn’t make it a sport of likelihood and
    subsequently illegal. The Supreme Court docket has but to rule on this but it is doubtless they
    will agree, and this may occasionally find yourself having a significant influence on poker enjoying
    in India must be the choice to go the way poker gamers hope.

    Authorized Gambling in India is restricted to taking part in the lottery, in a lot
    of the states, as once once more particular person states do
    have the ability to make their very own legislation.

    To put it simply, the final laws of India regarding gambling apply until a state specifically sanctions it.

    So most have sanctioned lotteries, which would otherwise certainly qualify as a game of probability, but they’ll nonetheless be permitted if the legislation offers it.
    The other States with extra expansive playing, Sikkim, even has licensed online
    gambling and on-line poker. It’s up and running as well, and options a number of licensed poker sites, the largest of which is which even has a team of sponsored Indian poker pros.
    It is felt that it’s authorized for online poker gamers to play
    on authorized poker websites in India, however the rub here is that it’s not all that
    clear what would constitute a authorized online poker website
    in India, and stays a gray so far as the legislation is concerned.

    The requirements likewise indicate that the diversions
    should be protected, safe and reasonable. Indian regulation plainly denies betting in a web based stage.
    The Middleman Guidelines (Guidelines) 2011, distributed beneath
    this Act directs betting practices by center folks, which contains telecom specialist organizations, arrange specialist organizations, web access
    suppliers, web-facilitating specialist organizations, net search tools, online installment locales, on-line-closeout
    destinations, on-line-business centers and digital bistros.
    Space 3(2) (b) of the said Rules, restricts any observe which is identified with or which supports washing and betting.

    Pursuant to this energy, most states in India have passed enactments legal guidelines.

    Games of ability or mere ability are excluded from the applicability of Indian Gaming Legal guidelines which prohibits only betting and playing in all Indian states
    to the exception of some (‘Betting and Playing’ being a state subject below
    the Structure of India). The Supreme Court has defined talent in terms of superior data, training,
    attention, experience and adroitness. Supreme Court docket acknowledged that -A sport of skill, on the other hand – although the factor of probability essentially
    can’t be solely eliminated – is one during which
    success depends principally upon the superior knowledge, training, attention, experience and adroitness
    of the player.

    A recreation of ability is one during which the aspect of skill predominates over the element of likelihood.
    It’s the dominant ingredient – skill” or probability” – which determines the character of
    the sport. At one time the notion was that with a view to be branded as playing the competition have to be one success by which depended
    solely on likelihood. Sport of Skill or Mere Ability have been exempted under various
    state laws and the Supreme Court docket on this topic
    decisively settled that the game of rummy shouldn’t be a game of whole
    chance, it’s primarily preponderantly a sport of Talent.

    With all such inferences, it can be concluded that it’s authorized to play skill based video
    games on Ace2Three. Nonetheless, we additional wish to inform you that Ace2Three does not enable players
    from Assam, Telangana, Orissa, Nagaland and Sikkim to
    play on its web site. The Assam Game and Betting Act, 1970” & Prevention of Playing Act, 1954” of Orissa don’t provide an exception for Video games of Ability, The Nagaland
    Online Gaming Act, 2016, and Sikkim On-line Gaming (Regulation) Act, 2008
    envisage a licensing regime for specified talent games.

    Dr. K. R. Lakshmanan v. State of Tamilnadu and others.
    Consideration TELANGANA CUSTOMERS: All customers residing or logging in from the State of Telangana won’t have
    entry to our recreation play.

    However, in sure states, similar to Assam,Orissa and Telangana,
    the laws relevant to playing do not present a clear exemption to playing games of talent.
    In the occasion you want to play our video games from these states, we advise
    that you just access solely our free rummy video games We do not
    supply our amenities of rummy money video games to gamers from these states.
    Real money purchases and Real cash video games for customers from the Telangana State
    have been quickly suspended in accordance with the Telangana State Gaming Ordinance Amendment.
    Playing, accordingly by the definition of Supreme Court docket is betting and
    wagering on video games of probabilities excluding the video games which require skills.

    Karnataka HC – 1982 – State of Karnataka v. Anantaswamy Iyer – Rummy for stakes to
    be legal – The sport of Rummy with playing
    cards is not a sport of chance however a game of skill.
    The gathering of commission from the members of the club taking part in Rummy
    doesn’t make it a gambling home. In 2002 Andhra Pradesh High Court docket within the
    case of State of Andhra Pradesh v. D Krishna Kumar said Enjoying rummy even for stakes or money doesn’t violate
    provisions of the Andhra Pradesh Gaming Act, 1974.
    Madras Excessive court docket in 2011 talked about that the 13-card video games like Rummy is a sport
    of ability, and never gambling or recreation of likelihood.

    Permitted by the Supreme Court docket of India, rummy is a recreation of
    skills and it’s completely authorized to play rummy!
    Let us delve deeper to seek out out whether or not
    rummy is a game of skills and the standing of its legality.
    The best examples can be games the place units like dices, slots, spinning tops, numbered balls
    and others are used; you would not have any management over the game
    and the probabilities of profitable are primarily based on luck.
    However, the games which may be played solely with expertise are called
    as ‘video games of skills’. You need psychological or physical skills with a view to win the sport
    and luck plays infinitesimal role in its final result.

    Mahalakshmi Cultural Affiliation, a Chennai-based club, by its lawyer Sunil Fernandes
    had introduced the matter to the Supreme Court. It challenged a 2012 judgment of a divisional bench of the
    Madras Excessive Court docket that dominated that taking part in rummy with stakes quantities to playing.
    The thirteen-card games like Rummy is a recreation of talent, and
    not gambling or recreation of probability, the Madras High Court has held, adding that police should not disturb membership members and company
    playing the sport. CHENNAI: The 13-card video games like Rummy is a recreation of ability, and not gambling or sport of likelihood, the Madras High Court
    docket has held, adding that police shouldn’t disturb club members and friends playing
    the sport.

    Paul Kanagaraj, however, stated the 30-yr-previous association by no means allowed any
    card sport aside from the 13-card Rummy and playing Rummy
    with or without stakes was not illegal. Denying that Mangaatha was performed by its
    members/company, counsel mentioned police ceaselessly disturbed the association below
    the guise of normal inspection. Police claimed
    to have recovered 178 tokens and a case of Rs 6.seventy five lakh used for the playing.
    Insisting that it was only a gambling activity, police stated the persons picked up
    by them were not members of the association. It stated particular groups
    had been formed for tracking down illegal card games within the
    metropolis.

    Getting good or unhealthy playing cards will not
    determine a win or loss of the sport. A participant ought to use a transparent strategy
    and mathematical skills whereas enjoying to excel on the game.
    Indian rummy is a sport of talent which means that the competence of
    the player determines the result of a game. The sport of Rummy is not a recreation fully
    of probability just like the ‘three-card’ game talked about within the Madras
    case to which we have been referred. Rummy, on the other hand, requires a certain quantity of ability as a result of the
    fall of the cards needs to be memorised and the building up of Rummy
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    If the players hand meets the objective, he is declared the winner.

    On the conclusion of the hand, the unmade factors
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    finishes first wins the quantity as: (sum of points of all opponents) x (monetary value of 1 level).
    The player with the maximum factors on the finish of all of the offers is the winner
    of the game. The player who remains till the tip, in spite
    of everything the opposite players have been eradicated on crossing the preset restrict, is the winner.

    Along with the usual jokers within the deck, one participant selects a card out of the inventory.
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