9. Fiestas Patronales de San José del Cabo B.C.S. 2014.

Flor estrellada de Juan Rodríguez.

Flor estrellada de Juan Rodríguez.

por La cronista del estado.

No es que haya jurado desde hace algunos años no asistir a las fiestas de mi rancho otra vez, de hecho, se trata de un motivo circunstancial más que cualquier otra cosa. Creo que la última vez que asistí a las fiestas de San José corría el año 2006, yo tenía 16 años – un poco más o un poco menos- y después de eso, fue la pereza que me ocasionaban la gran cantidad de gente borracha y los malos, malísimos, shows que el municipio trae para dicha festividad lo que hizo que dejara de ir. Cuando era niña mis papás me llevaban a la feria como parte del ritual familiar, cuando empecé a crecer y era puberta, las fiestas y la feria eran uno más de esos lugares públicos que sirven para iniciar el desarrollo de tu vida social autónoma e involucrando al sexo opuesto, así que como las salidas de los fines de semana eran al cine, durante la semana de las fiestas habría que ir a las fiestas, “todo el mundo va a ir”, un puberto no puede pasar eso por alto. Un par de años después íbamos con el propósito -bien logrado la mayoría de las ocasiones- de poder comprar alcohol pero al cabo de los 17 ya no necesitaba ir a la feria para comprarlo, ya pasaba en los antros, es más, ya no tenía que “repegarme” a esa gente que no conocía, de botas, sombrero, oliendo a babas, alcohol y perfume Avon. Ahora me repegaba a desconocidos igual de embrutecidos por el alcohol con camisita de vestir, el cabello engomado y perfume Lacoste. En ese sentido es la misma mierda, pero bueno. Lo que sí es cierto es que los márgenes de la posibilidad son mucho más abiertos dentro de un festejo que abarca varias cuadras a estar dentro de un antro. Volviendo al punto, a los dieciocho me fui de mi rancho, de manera que las festividades patronales me quedaron mucho más lejos aún.

Este año, 2014, no tenía pensado ir, pero resulta que mi novio sí, de modo que accedí sin mucho entusiasmo. Decidimos caminar como prevención al problema del estacionamiento y nos lanzamos, él mucho más emocionado que yo, pues honestamente no pensaba encontrar nada nuevo sino lo mismo: mucha gente, poco espacio, mucha tierra, muchos borrachos. Además, no iba a poder subirme a ningún juego de la feria debido a una lesión en la espalda. Ni pedo, pensé, ya vas para allá, por lo menos te comes un esquite.

Resulta que el día que decidimos ir se llevarían a cabo los juegos florales, que es un certamen de obras literarias que coincide, además, con la “sucesión” al trono de la Reina del lugar, que cambia año con año. Puta qué güeva, desde que dejé de creer en Disney la monarquía se me presentó como una aberración política inconcebible incluso para un pueblito playero que durante sus fiestas parecía ser feudal. Entonces, lo que se hace es que la corona pasa de una cabeza a la otra y después de eso se lee la obra electa como ganadora del certamen literario.

Llegamos al lugar, una cancha de béisbol adaptada como escenario, con dos templetes, cada uno con su zona VIP, improvisado con unas vallas de metal blancas, en uno se estaba desarrollando un espectáculo dancístico de muy buena calidad, debo decir  -llevado a cabo por una academia de danza que es parte del orgullo cultural de la ciudad-. En el otro templete, el más grande, con una mayor cantidad de reflectores de mejor calidad, se presentaría el Grupo Pesado un par de horas después.

Entonces, lo que hicieron los del municipio fue cagar una de las pocas cosas realmente culturales de esos días y meter, en medio de la presentación de danza de temática histórica regional, a la pinche Reina 2013 de no más de 16 años de edad, con su vestido pomposo lentejuelado que seguramente es la evolución del vestido de sus quinces, para que se despida, y luego meter a la pinche Reina nueva (2014), esa sí, sin quitarse el vestido de sus quince, morado, grandote, tornasol, con elementos dorados, para que su pueblo le dé la bienvenida. Después de que se contonearon como pavorreales, subió como si fuera su padrote, el H. Presidente municipal acompañado de su H. esposa a pasar los piojos de una cabeza a la otra, mientras que las bailarinas, que eran realmente lo único bueno de todo el escenario, fueron delegadas a un segundo plano, es decir, sirvieron como fondo.

Yo respeto las tradiciones, pero hay cosas que por muy antiguas que sean no dejan de ser una mamada, como esto de la monarquía ¡Córtenle la cabeza! Y ni tan antigua, pues para monarquías viejas la holandesa, la inglesa, la española, la danesa, la malasia, japonesa, sueca, australiana y lo que restan para llegar a las cuarentayquiúbole monarquías existentes hoy en día ¡Todas igual de inútiles! Yo no sé si la gente piense lo mismo que yo, pero yo hice como que sí, pues sorprendentemente la respuesta de la gente fue el silencio. Ante la efusiva voz del maestro de ceremonias que decía: “¡Un fuerte aplauso para la Reina de los juegos florales 2014!”, los aplausos fueron tan escasos que a mi al rededor no logré ver a más de diez personas que estuvieran aplaudiendo, y aquellos que aplaudieron lo hicieron como quien con vergüenza hace algo que le es impuesto. Vaya… este circo no funcionó. Estaba anonadada y contenta, me comí un esquite mientras me reía por dentro imaginándome la frustración que debieron de haber sentido la realeza y su séquito: el joto que les enseñó a caminar, la mujer que las pintó y las peinó, la costurera que les hizo el vestido, el papá que puso el dinero, la mamá que la llevó y la trajo a los ensayos de sus escasos pinches quince pasos con su corto-corto-largo saludo, los que después de esto la van a entrenar para Nuestra Belleza México, sus amigos de la prepa, etc. La sonrisa me duró hasta que, después de tantas burlas y adjetivos irónicos sobre la situación entre mi novio y yo, llegó el momento de presentar al ganador del certamen literario…. ¡Tómala! Que resulta que el ganador es un tío de mi novio. Puta madre, ¿y ahora? Pues a aplaudir, por primera vez en la noche. Y entre tanta risa se me atoró el elote.

Después de que “el poeta” leyó su obra ganadora, fuimos a la feria. La neta es que las morritas no están tan mal, pero no sé cómo no se les congela la panocha con la poca ropa que se ponen y el frío que hace (aunque si alguien que coincidió en la universidad conmigo y me recuerda, lee este artículo, seguro dirá: pues así como no se te congelaba a ti). Antes de entrar a la feria le dije a Jorge: “No vayas a querer comprar cuanta pendejada se te atraviese porque yo no te las voy a guardar en mi bolsa, si quieres comprar tú cargas la bolsa”, obviamente mi reacción ante el chuchuluquero fue de querer todo, pero bueno, salimos con un par de llaveritos con una foto de los dos (uno para cada quien) de 2 x $50, un par de extractores para hacer jugo (uno para cada quien) de a 2 x $100 -háganme el favor, semejante chingadera, un extractor de jugo comprado en la feria- que incluía unas cucharitas similares a las que se usan para servir nieve, pero para hacer bolitas de fruta como melón, sandía, y toda aquella que tenga una pulpa que lo permita; yo quería una alcancía de cochinito, pero después de pagar algunas veces en los juegos esos en los que nunca ganas como el de insertar el aro en la botella y esas cosas, nunca nos la pudimos ganar, así que desistimos. Compramos gomitas, pasamos por los insoportables y folklóricos vendedores de cobijas que parece que le escupen al micrófono: “Lleve su cobija-pjj, tradicional de lujo-pjj, le doy su paquete de recámara-pjj, llévese esta chiquita-pjj para que tape a su muñeca-pjj la que le dice papito-pjj, papito-pjj, quítame el frío papito-pjj, llévese su cobija-pjj secretario-pjj”; pasamos al lado de algunas tamboras que estaban tocando (lo cual sí me agradó), y cuando entramos a un puesto de dvd´s piratas me sorprendí al ver  que la tambora que estaba tocando afuera tenía dos personas bailando, la sorpresa fue que eran dos hombres. Nunca, nunca, nunca, me hubiese imaginado ver a dos hombres bailando banda, quebrándose y toda la cosa, en un lugar público, en una festividad-no homosexual, lleno de botudos, sombrerudos y machos.

Aclaro, no es que crea que esas manifestaciones deban reducirse a ser expresadas en un lugar estrictamente homosexual, al contrario, la sorpresa fue positiva, pues soy de la idea de que se deben ir incorporando a la dinámica social. Lo que me sorprende es que en un acto público en San José del Cabo, B.C.S., suceda sin que la gente la arme de pedo.

Acto seguido, me entró el antojo y tuve que comprarme unos pepihuates para pasarme la sorpresa. Estaban buenísimos, aunque al siguiente día, después de la cuarta vez de haberme levantado al baño, lo de buenísimos me pareció poca cosa.

Dimos una vuelta más por la feria mientras observábamos las caras de los niños que parecían que estaban ahí por primera vez, las caras de la gente arriba de los juegos esperando a que arrancaran éstos, las caras de los papás que se subieron al mismo juego por tercera vez consecutiva, las parejitas caminando de la mano con cantidad de pendejadas similares a las que traíamos nosotros y más, a los solitarios vestidos tipo Joan Sebastián cayéndose de pedos, los colores azul y rosa de los algodones de azúcar, una vez más el pjj-pjj de los de los vendedores de cobijas, la casa de los espejos, el Himalaya, que ahora pone música electrónica mientras en mis tiempos ponían “el tiburón”, lo único que no vi esta ocasión fueron atracciones fantásticas humanas como “la mujer verde”, “la mujer peluda”, “la mujer mitad araña”, “el hombre que se quedó enano por contestarle a su mamá”, etcétera. Después del segundo recorrido salimos y poco a poco fue quedando atrás el ruido y la concentración de olores, el último en irse fue el olor a fritanga, a aceite quemado. De regreso a casa pensé en mi re-experiencia en las fiestas de San José y a pesar de que no fue para nada mala, e incluso puedo decir que en el momento tuve muy buenos ratos, tampoco fue la gran cosa. Lo mejor fue la feria.

Creo que el motivo por el cual no logro entender las fiestas del Santo Patrono como una herencia cultural es que les veo muy poco de tradicionales, salvo que se repiten año con año; vivo en una ciudad en la que  la mayoría de sus habitantes no tienen nada que ver con esta tierra, que son choyeros porque nacieron aquí, pero cuyos padres vienen de otro lado lejano en todos los sentidos. La feria no es una tradición regional, es la misma pinche feria que viene viajando desde Morelia, Jalisco, Sinaloa, Baja California Norte, hasta llegar para acá. Los antojitos que venden para comer, la fayuca, accesorios y demás tampoco tienen nada de regionales: pozole (que de sudcaliforniano no tiene nada) tamales, pepihuates, esquites, mini hotcakes, huipiles, jorongos, platos de barro, entre otras tantas madres. Es un entretenimiento cuyo pretexto es el Santo Patrono, que es San José, pero en el cual no hay participación alguna a propósito de él. No es nada particularmente representativo, es decir, podría suceder lo mismo en Tuxpan, Veracruz.

Entiendo que la cultura es gerundial y que se va haciendo, y que reclamar cierta tradición como perteneciente a ciertas prácticas queda mucho más flojo ante la realidad de que más allá de mí, los hechos suceden y se van hilando en la práctica común, pero bueno, yo no me siento identificada con “esa tradición”, la siento como tal vez sintieron los teotihuacanos la imposición de las tradiciones españolas durante la conquista, lo cual no quita que ese haya sido el punto de inicio de lo que culminaría en la tradición mexicana actual (entre muchas otras mezclas, por supuesto). Tal vez esto termine siendo lo que posteriormente se conozca como tradición cabeña (o parte de ella), pero en este punto, no la reconozco como mía.[1]



[1] Es evidente que esto está lejos de ser un estudio etnográfico-antropológico y nunca pretendió serlo. Muy por el contrario, suena a crítica de una persona amargada a la que todo le parece poca cosa. Qué quieren que les diga, así han estado estos días.

 

Sobre nosotros Revista Miseria

Espacio de desahogo reflexivo para aquéllos que se sienten desgraciados.

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